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MY IDENTITY HAS AFFECTED MY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS IN TERMS OF ME YEARNING FOR OTHER NON BINARY INDIVIDUALS INSTEAD OF ONLY CIS QUEER WOMEN.

I AM VERY COMFORTABLE WITH MY IDENTITY, BUT ONLY UNTIL I MOVED TO UNIVERSITY AT 19 DID I FULLY COME OUT AS A LESBIAN AND EVENTUALLY NON-BINARY. BEFORE THIS, I WAS BASICALLY CELIBATE AND THOUGHT I WAS A-SEXUAL AS I DIDN’T FIND ANYONE IN MY HOMETOWN ATTRACTIVE.

FINDING A PARTNER THAT I FEEL COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE SEXUALLY WITH HAS HELPED ME ACHIEVE NEW LEVELS OF PLEASURE IN MY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS.

HETERONORMATIVE NUCLEAR FAMILY STRUCTURES AND WHITE PATRIARCHY HAS COMPLICATED MY GROWTH IN CREATING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY IDENTITY.

MY THOUGHT ON THE PORN INDUSTRY AS “PORNO” IS THAT IT’S DOMINATED BY CIS MEN. WHICH IN TURN MAKES IT MISOGYNISTIC. THIS IS WITHOUT HIGHLIGHTING THE WORRYING DYNAMICS OF RACE AND UNDERAGE INDIVIDUALS, IT CAN BE REALLY DAMAGING. “ETHICAL PORN” IS WELL-KNOWN TO BE THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF ETHICAL TOO, WITH EVEN QUEER PRODUCING BECOMING TOXIC. HOWEVER, I DON’T JUDGE PEOPLE THAT WATCH IT OR WORK IN IT - I JUST KNOW IT’S NOT FOR ME REALLY - BUT I’M OPEN TO BE PROVEN WRONG. SEX WORK IS A WHOLE OTHER CONVERSATION, I SUPPORT AND RESPECT SEX WORKERS AND THEIR RIGHTS AND VISIBILITY IS VITAL.

I AM POLITICALLY POLYGAMOUS.

I AM IN LOVE AND IT FEELS LIKE FIREWORKS ARE COMING OUT MY CHEST AND MY PUSSY DAILY.

I USED TO BE TERRIFIED OF BEING IN LOVE, I WOULD ALWAYS KEEP PARTNERS AT A DISTANCE EMOTIONALLY.

MY CURRENT RELATIONSHIP IS DIFFERENT TO OTHER ONES BECAUSE I AM WILLING TO BE VULNERABLE NOW, THIS OPENING UP SO MANY MORE LEVELS TO CONNECT.

UNFORTUNATELY THE PROCESS OF ‘COMING OUT’ IS A NEVER ENDING PROCESS AS A QUEER PERSON. AS I MOSTLY PRESENT AS FEMME, I AM FORCED TO ‘COME OUT’ ON A DAILY BASIS. I FEEL I STILL HAVE GROWTH TO DO AS A PERSON PERIOD. BEING QUEER JUST ADDS TO THE AMOUNT OF RESISTANCE AND SELF LOVE I NEED TO POSSESS IN ORDER TO DO SO.

BOOKS WISE I RECOMMEND AUDRE LORDE’S ‘SISTER OUTSIDER’, BELL HOOK’S ‘AIN’T I A WOMAN’ AND E. JOHNSON’S ‘BLACK QUEER STUDIES’. IMPORTANT POC QUEER FILMS AND DOCUMENTARIES SUCH AS ‘BORN IN FLAMES’, ‘THE DEATH AND LIFE OF MARCHA P. JOHNSON’, ‘SHAKEDOWN’. PLUS ANY CULT CLASSICS SUCH AS ‘KILL BILL’, NUT I’M A CHEERLEADER’. MUSIC I RECOMMEND ALL MY MIXES AND BEBELUNA’S MUSIC, THEY’RE A WHOLE BLESSING AND A QUEER ICON IN THE MAKING.

I HAVE NOT DECIDED IF I BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE YET.

I 1000000% SUPPORT ONE-NIGHT STANDS AND FLINGS.

I WILL EXPLORE DIFFERENT KINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS.

AGAIN THE SAME OPPRESIVE STRUCTURE, BUT I AM GUILTY OF STEREOTYPICAL ‘FUCK BOY’ MOVES AND DISMISSIVE BEHAVIOUR IN TERMS OF ROMANCE AND SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS. ONLY NOW IN THE PAST YEAR DO I HAVE MORE OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.

MY BACKGROUND IS JAMAICAN AND ENGLISH. I DO HAVE A TYPICAL JAMAICAN MASCULINE TENDENCIES IN TERMS OF MULTIPLE SEXUAL PARTNERS PERSISTENTLY. THE INFLUENCE ON MY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS HAS NOT BEEN THE MOST POSITIVE UNTIL NOW.

FINDING A SENSE OF COMMUNITY IN QUEERS THAT LOOK LIKE ME IN TERMS OF RACE AND CLASS BACKGROUND. READING FROM POC QUEER ACADEMICS AND FINDING MY TRUTH AND RELATABILITY IN THEIR WORDS. MYSELF AND AGAIN FINDING MY ‘TRIBE’ HAS ENABLED ME TO BECOME MORE COMFORTABLE WITH MY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS.

MY IDENTITY HAS AFFECTED MY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS IN TERMS OF ME YEARNING FOR OTHER NON BINARY INDIVIDUALS INSTEAD OF ONLY CIS QUEER WOMEN.

MY IDENTITY HAS ENHANCED MY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS TEN FOLD - I AM A SWITCH SO ITS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS. I ENJOY BOTH BEING FEMME AND A STUD.

MY FAMILY DOES KNOW I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP AND THIS IS THE FIRST PERSON THEY HAVE BEEN INTRODUCED TO (THAT I’VE EVEN SPOKE ABOUT TO THEM). IT FEELS GOOD THAT THEY KNOW. IT IS NICE THEY KNOW MORE ABOUT ME AND TO SEE PEOPLE I LOVE CONNECT.